How to Talk to Your Partner About Using Sex Toys

Bringing sex toys into your relationship can spark curiosity, deepen pleasure, and create new ways to connect. But let’s be real—talking about them can feel awkward at first. If you're not sure how to bring it up with your partner, you're not alone.

The good news? With a little honesty, empathy, and the right timing, you can open the door to a healthier, more adventurous sex life together. Here’s how to start that conversation without making it weird.

Start With Trust, Not Shock

Choose the right moment—calm, private, and judgment-free. Avoid surprising your partner during sex or tossing a toy onto the bed without warning. A relaxed, open setting helps you both feel more comfortable and respected.
Try something simple like:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking… would you be open to exploring something new together?”
The goal is not to shock, but to invite.

Share, Don’t Push

Speak honestly about your curiosity without making your partner feel pressured. You’re not trying to fix anything or say something’s wrong—you’re just interested in trying something new together.
You can mention something you read, saw online, or heard in a podcast. That makes it feel more natural and less like a personal demand.

Frame It as a Shared Experience

Make it clear that this isn’t just about you—it’s about exploring as a couple. Use language like “us,” “together,” or “our experience.” That shifts the focus from personal desire to mutual connection.
Browsing a sex toy site together can be a fun way to get the conversation going. You might be surprised by what catches their eye too.

Listen, Don’t Judge

Your partner might feel hesitant, unsure, or even embarrassed at first—and that’s okay. Let them speak. Listen actively and reassure them there's no pressure. It’s important to create space for open, honest reactions.
And if the answer is no for now? Respect it. That shows maturity and deepens trust.

Keep It Simple at First

If they’re curious but cautious, suggest starting small. A basic vibrator, massage toy, or wearable ring can be a great introduction. Avoid anything too complex or extreme on the first go—ease in and see what works.
Remember, this is a journey, not a one-time event.

Be Playful, Not Serious

Sex toys should add fun—not stress—to your connection. Bring a sense of humor, stay relaxed, and remind each other this is supposed to be enjoyable. A little laughter can go a long way in keeping the mood light.

Final Thoughts: It’s About Intimacy, Not Just Toys

Opening up about sex toys isn't just about adding gadgets—it’s about deepening your intimacy, strengthening trust, and creating space for shared discovery.
When approached with care, this conversation can become a powerful moment in your relationship—one that brings you closer, both physically and emotionally.

So go ahead: have the talk. You might just unlock a new level of connection you didn’t know was possible.